This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Randomize
