totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
