I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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