I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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