just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
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my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
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you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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