Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I will die if light touches me.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now