No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
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all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
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You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.