Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.

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(706): View more from Georgia

saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal

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(919): View more from North Carolina

she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay

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(509): View more from Washington

Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.

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(314): View more from Missouri

He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl

(201): View more from New Jersey

I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl

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(586): View more from Michigan

My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...

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(386): View more from Florida

My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0

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