worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.