All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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