isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
