He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
