It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
