She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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