4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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