Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
