i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
