Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I got inside last night via doggy door
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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