talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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