dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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