I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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