I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
