i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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