In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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