the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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