i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
