Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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