I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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