just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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