There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
