Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
