It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
