im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
