If i come over, it means nothing
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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