I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
