i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
