hotel room ftw
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
