your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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