Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
