haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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