you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
