yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
