"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
