i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize