is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
