some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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