Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
