Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
This is my life. Enjoy the view
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
