umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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