I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
