Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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