I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize