You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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