If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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