They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
