is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
