She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We have so much sex to catch up on
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
