I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
