its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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